


The Ungodly Trio

by kookieskookie



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: Aphrodite just wants to look nice, Athena is just trying to keep her damn grades up, Athena's probably gay, Everyone is just a little shit, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hades is edgy, M/M, Multi, Other, Persephone is a smol bean, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, We must protect Sephone, crackfic, everone's related but also not related, lmao let's be real it's all just crack, we're trying to make it less awkward here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 00:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookieskookie/pseuds/kookieskookie
Summary: Drabbles focused around Athena, Aphrodite, and Persephone(Based on some texts I sent my friends that started with the words: "They should make a sitcom about Greek mythology")





	1. Greek gods celebrate Christmas ??

**Author's Note:**

> It's Christmas at the Olympus house and Athena and Aphrodite loathe each other but Sephone is still a smol bean.

"Why are you like this?" Athena sighed to the two girls in front of her, who where currently dancing with antler headbands and strands of popcorn garland bouncing along their shoulders.

"Like what, Athena?"

"Stupid."

"Call me stupid one more time and I will scalp you, you ungrateful child."

"You're younger than me."

"And?"

"And you're too scared to break your nails to even reach in my direction," She taunted Aphrodite even more by waving her hands around in the air while prancing around on her tiptoes.

"Fucking gods guys, all I wanted was to have one normal Christmas." Persephone pouted.

"Oh no we've upset the pure bean," Aphrodite hugged the youngest from behind, slightly leaning back just enough to destroy Persephone's balance but to still keep them upright.

"Aww, we're sorry Sephone, we just can't conceal our hatred for each other that burns hotter than a thousand suns."

(Cue Aphrodite shaking her fist at Athena behind Persephone's back)

"A thousand suns, huh?" Persephone hummed, "poor Helios"


	2. Valentine's is for the weak...and pure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seph is pure and Hades is a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao the last chapter was christmas and now it's valentine's but that's okay, we skip around a lot in this au.

// Unbeta'd //

 

"He's just been so...cold...to me lately..." Persephone frowned, hurting both Athena and Aphrodite deep down in their heart, a place that could only be held by the sweetest of the beans.

"So basically he's been a dick?"

"Dite!"

"What? Not my fault the guy's got a heart of steel."

"He hasn't been rude or anything," Sephone said bashfully, "just distant. It's like he doesn't love me anymore-"

"Oh god"

"Valentine's day is tomorrow and he hasn't even asked me if I have plans yet-"

"Oh no, the small pure child, please no," The two older females watched as Persephone's eyes shone with tears, "please don't cry-"

"I just want him to talk to me," She finished meekly before busting into a sob.

"OH GOD THE PURE BABY I'M SO SORRY SWEETHEART," Athena nearly yelled, pulling Sephone's head onto her shoulder.

"He's probably just busy, maybe he forgot it's almost Valentine's day," Aphrodite tried to comfort the youngest by rubbing her back but it only seemed to upset her more and beckoned another sob. Before Athena could open her mouth to make up for Aphrodite's failed attempt, the doorbell rang. And rang. And rang. And just kept ringing until Aphrodite was done with everyone's shit because the innocent baby was crying and didn't deserve this, so she finally had enough and went downstairs to answer the door while Athena continued rubbing Sephone's back.

"Sephone! Athena! You need to come see this!"

"God damn it Dite, we're in the middle of something here," Athena grumbled quietly before luring Persephone downstairs with the promise of ice cream afterwards.

"What the fuck do you wa-- holy shit," Athena was dumbfounded. There was Hades. At the doorway. With a heart most definitely filled with assorted chocolates, and huge ass teddy bear, and what seemed like a thousand balloons.

This fucker.

"What are yo--" Persephone started.

"Seph, I'm so sorry. I've been a real dick lately because of some bullshit with the lacrosse members, but that doesn't excuse the way I've been neglecting you. I know it's a long shot but will you forgive me and go out with me tomorrow?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Where to?"

"Skating...?"

"And ice cream?"

"And ice cream."

"Fuck yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay...Cold...Hades...yup.
> 
> COmmENts and kudos are appreciated ^^


	3. Eros has a crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eros has a love crisis and the ungodly trio tries their best to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eros has a crisis
> 
> Lmao let's pretend Eros isn't Aphrodite's kid for a while, kay?
> 
> Eros is just a smol bab like Sephone

"Hey ladiiiieess--"

"Nope."

"No."

"Ah-ah, not today."

"Stop right there."

"LEAve."

"Well nice to know I'm wanted?" Eros frowned.

"Sorry babe, but no. All you bring is trouble," Athena sighed, patting Eros's shoulder.

"What? But how?"

"Remember Echo?"

"Yeah, what about her?"

"You set her up with fucking Narcissus," Aphrodite grimaced.

"And Ariadne, that asshole Theseus dumped her by standing her up on a date and having a waitress bring her a coffee cup with a piece of paper that said "bye.""

"But she ended up with Dionysus, look how cute they are."

"Yeah, on my accord," Aphrodite smirked.

"Let's not even talk about Acontius and Cydippe--"

"Are you guys done trash talking me yet?"

"I mean we have plenty of shit to talk if you want to sit down," Persephone commented.

"God damn it I just came to study fucking maths but nO YOU DECIDED IT WOULD BE BETTER TO JUST TEAR ME DOWN FOR TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE EACH OTHER, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY'RE ALL DICKS THAT ARE INCAPABLE OF LOVE"

"What the fuck? Are you okay, Eros?" Athena asked, taken aback by the usually soft spoken boy.

"No," Eros's voice cracked.

"Oh god, please don't cry," Persephone sat Eros down on the love seat, Athena and Aphrodite sitting on the arms.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Athena patted Eros's back soothingly.

"I like this person...like...like like."

"Well that's good, isn't it?" Sephone questioned.

"No...they like someone else..."

"Aw baby, I'm so sorry," Athena placed her hand on his shoulder.

"No but it gets worse, I like them, too!"

"What?" Aphrodite deadpanned.

"I like them both! I don't know why, but I like one just as much as I like the other, and it's not like I can choose! And it would be totally unfair to choose one and still have feelings for the other, plus they already like each other and I don't want to take one away from the other!"

"Sweetie...have you thought that maybe you're polyamorous?" Aphrodite questioned softly.

"That I'm what?" Eros stared up at Aphrodite with innocent, clueless eyes.

"Oh honey," Aphrodite slid her hand from Eros's back to his shoulder, "Polyamory is when more than two people like each other. It's the same as two people liking each other, just with more love and trust."

"B-but no one else likes two people at once," Eros frowned.

"Correction: not everyone likes two people at once. There are a lot of polyamorous people, you just don't notice because they don't act any different then the people who like one person," Aphrodite smiled, "You should talk to them about it. Schedule a time to sit down with them and talk to them about it."

"But how do I start?"

"Just tell them you like them, the rest will come naturally," Athena chimed in.

"But what if they don't like me?"

"They'll love you," Persephone assured.

"But wha--"

"Honey, just stop," Aphrodite placed her hand over Eros's mouth, "Everything will work out."

"Why don't you tell us about them?" Persephone suggested.

"Okay! The first one's a guy. He's from Japan and his hair is brown and blonde- cute, I know- and the second one is agender, but they were born a male and they have these curves from the heavens and curly hair, just adorable," Eros rambled for what seemed like eternity, talking about the two people that he woul soon be in a relationship with and happily in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao we gon get deep sooner or later but for now I just wanted to give you guys some Eros angst and ? fluff ?? not really but ok
> 
> thanks @ninjehkitteh for the prompttt <3 <3 <3
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated has always ^^

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter and it's already shit lmao
> 
> Anyways comments and kudos are always appreciated <3


End file.
